Imagine gaslighting yourself into thinking you’re okay. And then training your mind to pretend in hopes for better days?
Yeah, you can save the lectures. I’m still learning how to feel in a healthy way.
I feel like everybody has it easy and yet for me, I’m experiencing life differently.
Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed emotionally, overthinking thoughts on top of thoughts, while losing myself to reality. Or so it seems.
But I’m sure if I said something to you like “are you okay?”— you’d probably respond by saying something vague like “yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
You’d be stretching the truth just a little, beyond question without question. Embellishing fine points of a story but who could really blame you.
It’s far too dangerous to talk about such matters these days.
Except, why are we suppose to say “it’s okay” when it’s not? Assuming of course, you’re someone like me.
Though according to my therapist, “your brain has not been wired to deal with emotions effectively, but this,” she says “can be fixed. Emotions are perfectly normal, you see.
Our brains will continue to initiate these responses throughout our entire lives. And so, it’s in the approach that creates healing and stability.
Distraction and suppression won’t work. Unless you choose to create familiar patterns of chronic stress, fear and anxiety.
You can read as many affirmations as you want, even seduce yourself with the notion of sex and drugs…
Though short of real work towards compassion and love, there’s not a thing you can do to avoid them. Your emotions, I’m speaking of.”
And she’s right. And painfully so.
Although, my own experience with masking a facade grew rather quickly, shortly after a break up. And yet, it was then that I learned that life has a funny way of breaking you inside.
But let me assure you, if you take nothing away from reading this, then remember this my friend: glossing over the pain is what’s hurting us.
Though I’d be curious to know if anyone out there feels the same…
Until next time.
“My mother always used to say: the older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”— Rose (Betty White)
