Coffee.
Attention.
Flowers.
Small talk.
Alcohol.
Frosting.
Whipped cream.
Marshmallows.
Mushrooms.
Fall semester in high school with Mr. Plight from ninth grade.
Mukbangs.
Whispers.
Carson, Lena, Raymond and the whole crew. Just know, I spent 2 weeks that summer with no friends in a two-toned vintage Barney’s bedtime sleeping bag.
Olives.
Oysters.
Ceremonial parades.
Minions.
Printed decal signs posted in bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchens, hallways…
Life insurance. I mean between costs and benefits, just dump me in the lake.
No seriously, dump me in a lake.
Pies.
Baby gender reveals.
Fucking “nice” people.
Amanda in leasing. Your jokes are terrible and I hate that for you.
Until next time.
“Maybe 90 percent of the time it looks like I’m not having a good time.”— Kanye West
