Anyone can be homeless.
I mean, to survive in the realm of homelessness is one thing but to thrive in it is another.
And if you’re seriously good at it, you can honestly make a decent living out of it or maybe even worth your time.
Or even seduce people into thinking you know nothing more than the convincing reality of fiction.
But by then, of course your imagination can’t pick up the “seriousness” of a dire situation.
So then facts turn into lies, and you’re left with very little time to figure out whether or not a bacon sandwich deserves mayo…or cheese over mustard and ketchup.
And personally, I hate mustard.
But that’s neither here nor there.
But anyway, to do this, one must know or rather understand the guidelines that are put into place.
And that’s where I come in.
RULE #1: Lie
And of course, there are people that will tell you not to but don’t listen to them.
They’ll probably say something like, “it’s unethical, it’s immoral..tomato, tomatoe…”
But the truth is, everybody lies.
And yet still, in order to uphold your integrity and moral character when doing such a thing, one must always have good intentions.
That’s the key.
RULE #2: Take Time To Study People
Try and find people who know very little about you—or at least the kind that’s easily fooled.
And I mean, I hate to say this (I actually don’t) but most people tend to believe only what their eyes tell them to.
For example,
“Rags and a t-shirt…”
“Carrying too many bags…”
“Dirty sneakers…”
You get the picture.
RULE #3: Exaggerate Your Hygiene
And I mean, I can’t stress this enough.
Overemphasize its significance.
Hygiene is still important and to do this, one must get very creative.
Churches, gas stations, airports, libraries…
And if you’re really lucky, you’ll find a shelter that will house you completely for free.
RULE #4: Invest In A Portable Charger
Because I didn’t.
And if I’m being quite honest, most people hated to see me coming.
Although I do have to say I’ve been told, “wire tampering is a thing in the homeless community.”
Except, apparently with no decency behind the manners in which some of these business owners carry themselves…
I was left with no choice but to grip what little bit of hope I did have, charging my phone near a cautionary power plant…
roughly 3 miles away from my resting spot.
RULE #5: Find A Tree
Hotels, motels, rentals are definitely not worth the stress, either you have the money or you don’t.
And most times, in my opinion, it serves you best to be outside anyway.
RULE #6: Remember “Homelessness” Is Just A Mentality
So not everyone who is homeless is poor and not everyone who is poor is homeless.
Some are actually informants, journalists, or cops even.
I mean, some are living on the streets simply because they don’t feel safe at home. And then you have some who genuinely enjoy it.
RULE #7: Trust No One
Except, the important part here to remember is that most people will tell you anything.
Like where to go, what to eat, what to do, who to suck…
No seriously, sex is still a prominent thing in the homeless community.
Until next time.
“Who knows the temperature of the planet?” — Bella Masala
