It’s time to move on.
Except there’s this feeling inside me I can’t explain. Only, I think to myself I might regret it if I leave.
And honestly I knew that by coming here, I’d completely avoided all logic.
I mean, entirely anyway.
Although now it seems that fear has taken its toll on me. And still, I’m sitting here at San Francisco International Airport with a laptop piled on top of what looks like…3 days worth of clothes.
And well…all because I had hoped my dreams would find me here.
Except, I think I might’ve lost myself along the way. Or maybe I’ve changed.
Only, I should say that almost everything I’ve ever dreamed about since I can remember has led me here. But by then, I had already known.
I mean, I’ve always wanted to become a filmmaker, eventually. Though instead, I thought maybe at the “right” time kinda thing or maybe even after a few classes.
But for many years, I’ve loved it.
I mean the drama, the rush, the pressure behind the scenes…
the magic it takes putting a scene together…
then taking it apart…recreating new parts, the editing, the long hours, the speed…
I mean, had I known what I seriously wanted to be after high school, then maybe I would’ve done differently. But honestly, the unsettling fear of my own disappointment reminded me there were other places worth being. Except now, I know that isn’t true.
But anyway, I suppose much of my life still goes on.
And with tomorrow being what it is, I’ve decided to bring in the New Year’s over at Terminal 2.
Until next time.
“I’m single-minded. When I’m working on a project, all of my attention is there…” — F. Gary Gray
