It’s time to move on.
Except there’s this feeling inside me that I’m sure I can’t explain. Only I think to myself that I might regret it in some way if I leave.
And honestly I knew that by coming here, I had completely avoided all logic. I mean, entirely anyways. And now, it just seems that fear has painfully taken its toll on me.
And yet, I’m still sitting at San Francisco International Airport with a laptop piled on top of what looks like maybe 3 days worth of clothes.
And all because I had hoped that my dreams would find me here. Though instead, I think I might’ve lost myself along the way.
Or maybe I’ve changed. Except, I should say that almost everything I’ve ever dreamed of since I can remember has led me here.
But by then I had already known, I’ve always wanted to become a filmmaker eventually. I mean, at the “right” time kinda thing. Or maybe even after a few classes.
But for many years, I’ve loved it.
I mean, the drama, the rush, the pressure behind the scenes, the magic it takes putting it together, then taking it apart, recreating new parts, the editing, the long hours, the speed.
I mean, had I known what I seriously wanted to do after high school, then maybe I would’ve surrounded myself with people who were just as passionate. But the fear of disappointment reminded me that there were other places worth being.
Except now, I know that it isn’t true.
But anyways, I suppose much of my life still goes on. And with tomorrow being what it is, I’ve decided I’ll ring it in over at Terminal 2, prepping for the new year.
Until next time.
“I’m single-minded. When I’m working on a project, all of my attention is there…” — F. Gary Gray
