So I’m sitting here thinking of a more convincing, logical reason than the obvious one but nothing quite creative is coming to mind. Though I’m pretty sure there’s over a million reasons why I hate texting.
I mean the last thing I want to do is get on my phone and talk about nothing.
Or maybe I just like being an asshole. I mean honestly, why lie.
Though I have faked an orgasm once or twice in my life and he wasn’t very happy which is okay but then he asked and then everything just got weird after that.
Anyways, I’m starting to think…
No, I have to say this. If you have to ask, she didn’t. And emphasis on didn’t. And no seriously, I have to say emphasis because honestly I can’t emphasize that enough. I mean I could but I won’t. But then again maybe.
Maybe in another post like: Men versus women and intimate relationships and how we simply lie for the sake of them.
Anyways, I’m starting to think my main problem here is that I truly believe that most people are loosely wired, infused with powdered coffee imparted from pure metal.
No seriously, it’s a thing. I’m genuinely concerned. Either that or I hate small talk.
Meanwhile, there are two types of people that I’m referring to—the polished types and the socially unskilled.
Now, the polished types can be seen inviting new people over for drinks, movies, sex, broccoli, asparagus after one light conversation. And typically, I consider them “primaries.”
Except this is where it gets unreal.
“Want to come over and hang out?”
“No, I’m sorry I can’t. Gotta feed my fish.”
Which I felt really bad about, obviously.
“Your fish?”
“I actually do have a fish. I just don’t want to hang out.”
“You’re such a bitch.”
Wow. An incredible source of outrage. I mean, I’d be unfaithful to myself if I lied to you, right?
And then there’s the socially unskilled. Who aren’t so bad in a way but they refuse to pick up cues of non-engagement—landing outlandish jokes in mid conversation.
I mean I don’t know. I don’t get it.
I don’t know if they’re acting or forcing impressions which alot of us do. But I can’t describe the feeling. It’s like…I’m all talked-out. But I guess, this is just how it is.
Though Mrs. Phelps, a retired professor with incredible taste in music said to me, “people are a can of piss, switch the conversation!” Except the woman was holding a lamp. And that’s when I knew.
True eyes of insight.
Until next time.
“If I’m not interested in a woman, I’m straight-forward. Right after sex, I usually say, ‘I can’t do this anymore. Thanks for coming over!”— Vince Vaughn
